Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Shout it out!

I am a mother, a housekeeper, a sales woman, a writer (well, at least I'm trying), philosopher (and a good one), the most realistic person and the biggest dreamer you've ever seen in your life. Hour by hour, day by day, I get to do so many different things with exactly the same passion. I call it "passion for life"! And I love it!

I love my life, I love the way I live it, I love who I am, who I want to be and who I will become! I love my family, I love all the people who surround me. I am grateful for every person I met in my life. I am grateful for every experience I've been through. I appreciate all the bad things that happened because they were the most important lessons I learned in my life.

I love rain, snow and sun! I love water and air... Grass, trees, leaves, lakes, mountains, seas, sky, cities, villages... I love the earth I walk on!

I love evrything that surrounds me, I love the beauty of it, because beauty is all I can see!

I just had to shout it out!

Have a great day, month, year, decade, life!


Monday, April 15, 2013

Letting Out

I've been trying to write something for days now. And I write half of the story, then I delete it. I have a daily reader from Germany, and I always think it might be him. I begin to feel like he is reading this and my thoughts go wild. I write one sentence, then read it thousand times and then delete it... And it goes like that over and over again.

It's not like he doesn't know about my feelings for him. He knows. I just get this feeling that my love becomes somehow shabby after constantly talking about it. Sometimes I think it might be the story people get bored of. You know... Platonic love, nothing happens between us... I miss him, he misses me not... And stuff like that. I just go around and around and talk about those moments of most intense emotions I felt in my entire life.  I've noticed that some people fall in love with my love, some people are mad at him, some are mad at me... And it is strange how the story of an unknown woman can touch people in so many different ways. But sometimes it seems like it is too much...Too much of what? Of love? Would my love be greater if I keep quiet about it? Would it be greater if I let our next encounter happens in nursery home? Should I spend my entire life alone to make someone believe my love is true? Should I visit a psychiatrist to get proof that I am not crazy? What is there to do to prevent this love of becoming a heavy burden on his soul?

I never wanted him to have any hard feelings about this. I just want him to be happy. Honestly! With or without me, just to be happy with his life and choices he makes.

And here I am again, wondering if everything I wrote sounds stupid, or exggerated, or pathetic... Honestly? I don't think I care, the point is to let it all out. So I am doing it!