I built a really high wall around me that I wasn't even aware I was building. I want to bring it down, but it is so strong. Wherever I hit I can't even make a crack. I am looking to find a tiny hole somewhere, a little error I made while building it up... But no. There isn't any! And the longer I look the more I realize my wall is made of fear. It's kinda ironic because all of this time I was afraid that I may not see him again, and now that I am next to him it's the nearness that makes me scared. I can't help but wonder why does this happen... Why can't I just go with the flow? Am I that weak? Really?
Feels like my soul is running towards him, but my body is running away... Could this be yet another fight between my mind and my heart? I am so tired of those.