I Loved Her

"You know my friend, I loved her. I mean, really loved her. Truly, madly and without thinking. She was the only one. My secret, the greatest one. I was with many of them, but always carried her in my heart. I needed her most, and yet... I caused her too much pain. I couldn't accept the fact that I love so I pushed her away. I kept going back to her, but I was actually running away from her. One moment I'd show her that I care, the next one I'd prove I'm a bastard. And the worst thing is, whenever I got back, she was there. And now...
– What now? You got over her?
No way! There are times when I forget about her for a moment, those times when I kill the last piece of me with liquor.
– Why don't you go now and tell her everything?
Eh, see... I got what I wanted. She left. Now, when I go back, she is not there. They say she loves someone else, I know that is not true. But...
– Go see her then.
I can't.
– Why?
She became reasonable. She realised that I am, after all, a really big bastard and that I can never love her. Love her in that classical, usual way. I can't be there for her, and I will always expect her to be there for me. When she is having hardest times, I can't go to her and hug her, and I know she would come to me.
– You are impossible to understand!
Eh, my friend, I know... I get that a lot. There's only one person who said to understand me.
– Who!?
Well, she, my friend…"

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