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I wrote him for days... About love, about feelings. I was desperately trying to explain things I myself couldn't understand very well. I don't even remember how many words I sent him, must be thousands.He didn't reply. Hours, days, weeks passed before he wrote back to me. Do you know what he said? "I read your mails thousand times, and I just didn't know what to say, what to do to make you feel better..."
And the truth is I just needed a hug. I just needed him to hug me so that I can feel safe, that I can feel like I belong, but... I couldn't say it, and he couldn't understand it.
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We men are like that; when a woman tells us she is unhappy, she is vulnerable, she is distraught, we want to make it better, make her happy, because her being happy means we have fulfilled our purpose as men. We want to solve problems, get points and be told that we are good, that we are great!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for us to listen, to just sympathize, to let her feelings manifest themselves, let them play out, and as you say, just give her a hug. It's hard for us. We want to make it all better, right now, wipe the tears away, or else, we feel like we've failed.
"I couldn't say it, and he couldn't understand it."
That's sad... men can understand, try and help him, tell him, and he'll be there for
you, just tell him how you need him.
Yes, I alwys imagine he wanted to make things perfect so he felt like he can do nothing at the moment. The truth is I never needed perfection. I just needed glimpses of hope... I never wanted big things, just little things to let me know he cares.
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